Health Goals for this year

I have a few health goals I'd like to achieve for the year. Most of these are inspired out of a desire to reduce stress/anxiety in my life and because I'm tired of being sick all the time! I think following some of these nutrition/exercise goals will really help me to feel better mentally and physically. I also am on the quest for helpful vegetarian/pescetarian cooking blogs so if anyone has any that you read please let me know!

Health Goals for 2012

1) Eat 5-10 servings of fruits/veggies per day.
*tomatoes, red, yellow, green peppers in particular...try to get ORGANIC as much as I can.

2) Eat more fiber every day. 20-35 grams/day.
* Apples, pears, oats, celery and coarse whole grains are all good options.

3) Eat healthy fats.
*Canola, olive oil, peanut oil and avocado.

4) Drink more water.
*8 glasses at least/day.

5) Eat a healthy breakfast every day. Don't skip this meal!

6) Choose lighter options when dining out. Don't eat the entire large portion of food all in one sitting.

7) Eat more power foods.
*Broccoli, spinach, edamame, blueberries, fish (tuna and salmon), peanuts/nuts and brown rice.

8) Reduce caffeine intake.

9) Drink more green tea.

10) Pack all my meals for work/school.

11) Take yoga classes.

12) Run on the beach several times a week.

13) Go snowboarding with my Grandpa.

14) Learn how to surf. :)

12 things I want to do in 2012

I stole this idea from my friend Anna Owen. A list of 12 things seemed much more do-able than a massive amount of new years resolutions. So here is my list of 12 things I want to do in 2012. :)

1) Take up yoga several days a week.

2) Write on my blog at least once a week.

3) Start a beauty blog.

4) Take a photography class.

5) Get a job doing makeup.

6) Pay off as much debt as possible.

7) Save 10% of my income (at least).

8) Write for a food or restaurant publication.

9) Take a week long vacation.

10) Travel up the coast of California by car or train.

11) Join a book club.

12) Make a budget and start to use coupons more.

from my devotion today

Be willing to go out on a limb with me. If that is where I am leading you, it is the safest place to be. Your desire to live a risk-free life is a form of unbelief. Your longing to live close to Me is at odds with your attempts to minimize risk. .You are approaching a crossroads in your journey. In order to follow Me wholeheartedly, you must relinquish your tendency to play it safe.

This is an excerpt from my devotional that I am reading thru (Jesus Calling)...Wow. This is exactly where I am at in my life right now. I am in a period of transition and this is causing a lot of fear and unbelief. I am excited about the change but it's scary because I don't know exactly how everything is going to work out yet. I also have been struggling with financial worries lately and need to surrender that to God.

I am planning to move to Orange County, CA at the end of January with the hopes of attending a make-up school out there. I really am interested in doing beauty make-up, airbrushing, bridal, photo shoots, special effects, and eventually would love to work on a TV show or films. I also want to work in a salon part-time and do hair. I think moving to California scares me (even though it's temporary) because it's very competitive out there. I know that is where I need to be to get the kind of training that I need. I also know that it's where I need to be eventually to network with the right types of people. I love Nashville and the South but I know I need to be out West to do the kind of work I want to do.

I think this is very exciting but also rather scary because I am leaving behind most of my friends, family and (temporarily) a very dear boyfriend. I am excited though. To be close to the ocean, to meet new people, to find a temporary church family out there to love and encourage me...to spend some time with one of my best friends Jeannie who lives out there...to be able to do more outdoor activities and enjoy the beautiful climate. I have been very blessed to have relatives out there offer me a place to live. This is really going to help me out financially and I will be able to start paying off some school loans and other debt.

All in all, I think this is going to be a great opportunity and I want to embrace it with open arms and without fear. I want to be willing to go out on a limb with the Lord. I want to be lead step by step without having to see the whole journey of my life.

Over the pity party

Lately I've come to the conclusion that I don't want to be a complainer. One tends not to realize how annoying this bad habit is when engaging in it, whereas observing complaining in another individual is a bit reminiscent of nails on a chalkboard. I realize I am quite the culprit of going on about a difficult day at work, how tired I am, how I didn't get to take a break at school, etc., etc. but how beneficial is this really? Unless I am coming up to a solution with a problem there really is no point in subjecting friends, family, boyfriend to said verbal pity party monologue. I have so much to be grateful for and despite this hectic/emotionally trying season of life, things aren't so bad. I hope I can see the small blessings on my 13 hour plus days and not every detail that hasn't gone according to plan. After all the imperfections are what make life interesting. I'd rather be a bit of a flawed hot mess than have all my ducks in a row. ;)

rest

This evening I am back in Bristol. A place where I spent 12 years of my life (age 6-18) to be exact. I have not been here since Christmas of last year and returning makes me realize how splendid it feels to be HOME; even if only for a 24 hour snippet or so. I have missed the quiet country evenings away from the city lights, the cool mountain breezes and hearing merely the sounds of insects when leaning against a fragile porch railing sipping a glass of pinot grigio (chilled of course). I think really what I have missed is relaxing and listening. Hearing myself think and enjoying doing simple things like drinking tea with my mom (and watching "The Importance of Being Earnest"). I hope that when I drive back to Nashville I can take a bit of the serenity and peace with me. I pray that I can be the kind of person who works hard but knows how to stop and breathe the fresh mountain air; to appreciate my family and the dear friends in my life. To realize how much I have to be grateful for. That by simply waking up and taking a breath of city (or mountain) air I have been shown mercy and protection.

sometimes i wonder if this city is just a maze and i'm lost in it...

feeling things can can be difficult. Sometimes it's easier to plod along in a dull emotionless haze. Rushing from work to school to bed to work to school to work to bed again and again. Refusing to think about things for fear of being overwhelmed or having an emotional breakdown. Today was one of those days where I allowed myself to really feel. To realize how stressed, worn down, dull, lifeless, and lacking in zest for life I have been in the past few months. I almost feel guilty when I take moments to nap, sit on my porch, or write because I think I should be checking off my constant to do list. I can hardly focus when I sit on my patio and pray to my Creator because a constant string of things that need to happen is running thru my mind. Along with these thoughts are thoughts that I'm not doing enough whether it's in my job, school, or doing as well financially as I would like. Don't even get me started on the fact that almost every close friend is married, engaged, having children, or in a long term relationship! Sometimes I have to face these insecurities, doubts, and lack of doing/being enough. Today I did that and it wasn't pretty. Tears were streaming down my face as I drove home from work (on the phone with my mom). I realized that all I can do is focus on a few challenges at a time and surrender them to the Lord. Life is so busy right now (with my 60ish hr. weeks) and sometimes I just want to throw in the towel and hang my head and give up. But I don't. I keep pressing on somehow; thru the 4am shifts, clients who freak out when I cut their hair exactly like they say, and living paycheck to paycheck I press on. Because I know that I was called to this. To Nashville (for now). To do hair. To live in community. To be weak. To not have it all together. And so I feel and I thank Him for these tears running down my cheeks.

all good things

Lately I have been on a crazy roller coaster ride emotionally. Sometimes it's easier to sweep things under the rug in life; I find it simpler to forget difficult times or not really deal with problems and pretend that they have gone away. In pretending that I am not affected by the past or bothered by it I really am never going to be where I need to be. Both with GOD and with other people...This is what I have been realizing the last couple days (thanks to some words from different friends).

In high school I really struggled with depression, self-loathing, loneliness, and suicidal thoughts. I don't feel like these are major issues today but I realize that I am still affected by some of these issues that I dealt with in the past. I seldom feel good enough, talented enough, pretty enough, smart enough, organized enough, liked enough, and the list could go on and on. Why do I feel inadequate? I suppose it is because at some point I believed the lie that I wasn't really worth anything and no one really gave a damn. It feels especially lame realizing this because I have a great family and wonderful friends but I am always second guessing myself...Always thinking that someone is better than me, holier than me, and if I really think about it more loved by God than I am. How ridiculous this train of thought is!!! It is almost like I am slapping my Creator in the face and saying, "Um sorry God but what you've made and done here isn't sufficient..." I'm not saying that I should feel guilty for having doubts and issues (I am after all human) but I think sweeping them under the rug and not really trying to move past them is insulting my Creator. It also means that I am not really opened up to loving others and being loved in the way that God intends. There is a wall in my heart that I am slowly trying to tear down. Would you pray that God speaks clearly to me in the coming days? I want Him to do a new things and (to quote the weepies) "turn me into somebody loved".