I stole this idea from my friend Anna Owen. A list of 12 things seemed much more do-able than a massive amount of new years resolutions. So here is my list of 12 things I want to do in 2012. :)
1) Take up yoga several days a week.
2) Write on my blog at least once a week.
3) Start a beauty blog.
4) Take a photography class.
5) Get a job doing makeup.
6) Pay off as much debt as possible.
7) Save 10% of my income (at least).
8) Write for a food or restaurant publication.
9) Take a week long vacation.
10) Travel up the coast of California by car or train.
11) Join a book club.
12) Make a budget and start to use coupons more.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
from my devotion today
Be willing to go out on a limb with me. If that is where I am leading you, it is the safest place to be. Your desire to live a risk-free life is a form of unbelief. Your longing to live close to Me is at odds with your attempts to minimize risk. .You are approaching a crossroads in your journey. In order to follow Me wholeheartedly, you must relinquish your tendency to play it safe.
This is an excerpt from my devotional that I am reading thru (Jesus Calling)...Wow. This is exactly where I am at in my life right now. I am in a period of transition and this is causing a lot of fear and unbelief. I am excited about the change but it's scary because I don't know exactly how everything is going to work out yet. I also have been struggling with financial worries lately and need to surrender that to God.
I am planning to move to Orange County, CA at the end of January with the hopes of attending a make-up school out there. I really am interested in doing beauty make-up, airbrushing, bridal, photo shoots, special effects, and eventually would love to work on a TV show or films. I also want to work in a salon part-time and do hair. I think moving to California scares me (even though it's temporary) because it's very competitive out there. I know that is where I need to be to get the kind of training that I need. I also know that it's where I need to be eventually to network with the right types of people. I love Nashville and the South but I know I need to be out West to do the kind of work I want to do.
I think this is very exciting but also rather scary because I am leaving behind most of my friends, family and (temporarily) a very dear boyfriend. I am excited though. To be close to the ocean, to meet new people, to find a temporary church family out there to love and encourage me...to spend some time with one of my best friends Jeannie who lives out there...to be able to do more outdoor activities and enjoy the beautiful climate. I have been very blessed to have relatives out there offer me a place to live. This is really going to help me out financially and I will be able to start paying off some school loans and other debt.
All in all, I think this is going to be a great opportunity and I want to embrace it with open arms and without fear. I want to be willing to go out on a limb with the Lord. I want to be lead step by step without having to see the whole journey of my life.
This is an excerpt from my devotional that I am reading thru (Jesus Calling)...Wow. This is exactly where I am at in my life right now. I am in a period of transition and this is causing a lot of fear and unbelief. I am excited about the change but it's scary because I don't know exactly how everything is going to work out yet. I also have been struggling with financial worries lately and need to surrender that to God.
I am planning to move to Orange County, CA at the end of January with the hopes of attending a make-up school out there. I really am interested in doing beauty make-up, airbrushing, bridal, photo shoots, special effects, and eventually would love to work on a TV show or films. I also want to work in a salon part-time and do hair. I think moving to California scares me (even though it's temporary) because it's very competitive out there. I know that is where I need to be to get the kind of training that I need. I also know that it's where I need to be eventually to network with the right types of people. I love Nashville and the South but I know I need to be out West to do the kind of work I want to do.
I think this is very exciting but also rather scary because I am leaving behind most of my friends, family and (temporarily) a very dear boyfriend. I am excited though. To be close to the ocean, to meet new people, to find a temporary church family out there to love and encourage me...to spend some time with one of my best friends Jeannie who lives out there...to be able to do more outdoor activities and enjoy the beautiful climate. I have been very blessed to have relatives out there offer me a place to live. This is really going to help me out financially and I will be able to start paying off some school loans and other debt.
All in all, I think this is going to be a great opportunity and I want to embrace it with open arms and without fear. I want to be willing to go out on a limb with the Lord. I want to be lead step by step without having to see the whole journey of my life.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Over the pity party
Lately I've come to the conclusion that I don't want to be a complainer. One tends not to realize how annoying this bad habit is when engaging in it, whereas observing complaining in another individual is a bit reminiscent of nails on a chalkboard. I realize I am quite the culprit of going on about a difficult day at work, how tired I am, how I didn't get to take a break at school, etc., etc. but how beneficial is this really? Unless I am coming up to a solution with a problem there really is no point in subjecting friends, family, boyfriend to said verbal pity party monologue. I have so much to be grateful for and despite this hectic/emotionally trying season of life, things aren't so bad. I hope I can see the small blessings on my 13 hour plus days and not every detail that hasn't gone according to plan. After all the imperfections are what make life interesting. I'd rather be a bit of a flawed hot mess than have all my ducks in a row. ;)
Friday, September 24, 2010
rest
This evening I am back in Bristol. A place where I spent 12 years of my life (age 6-18) to be exact. I have not been here since Christmas of last year and returning makes me realize how splendid it feels to be HOME; even if only for a 24 hour snippet or so. I have missed the quiet country evenings away from the city lights, the cool mountain breezes and hearing merely the sounds of insects when leaning against a fragile porch railing sipping a glass of pinot grigio (chilled of course). I think really what I have missed is relaxing and listening. Hearing myself think and enjoying doing simple things like drinking tea with my mom (and watching "The Importance of Being Earnest"). I hope that when I drive back to Nashville I can take a bit of the serenity and peace with me. I pray that I can be the kind of person who works hard but knows how to stop and breathe the fresh mountain air; to appreciate my family and the dear friends in my life. To realize how much I have to be grateful for. That by simply waking up and taking a breath of city (or mountain) air I have been shown mercy and protection.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
sometimes i wonder if this city is just a maze and i'm lost in it...
feeling things can can be difficult. Sometimes it's easier to plod along in a dull emotionless haze. Rushing from work to school to bed to work to school to work to bed again and again. Refusing to think about things for fear of being overwhelmed or having an emotional breakdown. Today was one of those days where I allowed myself to really feel. To realize how stressed, worn down, dull, lifeless, and lacking in zest for life I have been in the past few months. I almost feel guilty when I take moments to nap, sit on my porch, or write because I think I should be checking off my constant to do list. I can hardly focus when I sit on my patio and pray to my Creator because a constant string of things that need to happen is running thru my mind. Along with these thoughts are thoughts that I'm not doing enough whether it's in my job, school, or doing as well financially as I would like. Don't even get me started on the fact that almost every close friend is married, engaged, having children, or in a long term relationship! Sometimes I have to face these insecurities, doubts, and lack of doing/being enough. Today I did that and it wasn't pretty. Tears were streaming down my face as I drove home from work (on the phone with my mom). I realized that all I can do is focus on a few challenges at a time and surrender them to the Lord. Life is so busy right now (with my 60ish hr. weeks) and sometimes I just want to throw in the towel and hang my head and give up. But I don't. I keep pressing on somehow; thru the 4am shifts, clients who freak out when I cut their hair exactly like they say, and living paycheck to paycheck I press on. Because I know that I was called to this. To Nashville (for now). To do hair. To live in community. To be weak. To not have it all together. And so I feel and I thank Him for these tears running down my cheeks.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
all good things
Lately I have been on a crazy roller coaster ride emotionally. Sometimes it's easier to sweep things under the rug in life; I find it simpler to forget difficult times or not really deal with problems and pretend that they have gone away. In pretending that I am not affected by the past or bothered by it I really am never going to be where I need to be. Both with GOD and with other people...This is what I have been realizing the last couple days (thanks to some words from different friends).
In high school I really struggled with depression, self-loathing, loneliness, and suicidal thoughts. I don't feel like these are major issues today but I realize that I am still affected by some of these issues that I dealt with in the past. I seldom feel good enough, talented enough, pretty enough, smart enough, organized enough, liked enough, and the list could go on and on. Why do I feel inadequate? I suppose it is because at some point I believed the lie that I wasn't really worth anything and no one really gave a damn. It feels especially lame realizing this because I have a great family and wonderful friends but I am always second guessing myself...Always thinking that someone is better than me, holier than me, and if I really think about it more loved by God than I am. How ridiculous this train of thought is!!! It is almost like I am slapping my Creator in the face and saying, "Um sorry God but what you've made and done here isn't sufficient..." I'm not saying that I should feel guilty for having doubts and issues (I am after all human) but I think sweeping them under the rug and not really trying to move past them is insulting my Creator. It also means that I am not really opened up to loving others and being loved in the way that God intends. There is a wall in my heart that I am slowly trying to tear down. Would you pray that God speaks clearly to me in the coming days? I want Him to do a new things and (to quote the weepies) "turn me into somebody loved".
In high school I really struggled with depression, self-loathing, loneliness, and suicidal thoughts. I don't feel like these are major issues today but I realize that I am still affected by some of these issues that I dealt with in the past. I seldom feel good enough, talented enough, pretty enough, smart enough, organized enough, liked enough, and the list could go on and on. Why do I feel inadequate? I suppose it is because at some point I believed the lie that I wasn't really worth anything and no one really gave a damn. It feels especially lame realizing this because I have a great family and wonderful friends but I am always second guessing myself...Always thinking that someone is better than me, holier than me, and if I really think about it more loved by God than I am. How ridiculous this train of thought is!!! It is almost like I am slapping my Creator in the face and saying, "Um sorry God but what you've made and done here isn't sufficient..." I'm not saying that I should feel guilty for having doubts and issues (I am after all human) but I think sweeping them under the rug and not really trying to move past them is insulting my Creator. It also means that I am not really opened up to loving others and being loved in the way that God intends. There is a wall in my heart that I am slowly trying to tear down. Would you pray that God speaks clearly to me in the coming days? I want Him to do a new things and (to quote the weepies) "turn me into somebody loved".
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
all smiles
The last week of life has been a bit of a blur. I am not really sure what the day of the week is, date or time. I keep having to look at my cell to remind me of these basic facts of life.
To summarize the last seven days, Tuesday of last week (exactly one week ago) I made the big leap of moving to Nashville. As many of you know this move has been a long time coming. I have probably been planning/saving money to do this for about 9 months now. The emotions I experienced driving down I-24 West last Tuesday can be described in three words: overwhelmed, excited and most of all a sensation that my world was about to become totally different. Brett (sister's boyfriend) helped me move all of my furniture with his truck which helped so much! I was so grateful not to have to spend tons of money on a Uhaul. I am living in the 2nd story of a house in East Nashville. I share the 2 bedroom loft apt. with my friend Lauren and there are 3 guys that live in the bottom floor below us. They are all in a hardcore band which I find kind of amusing. They are super sweet guys though and I think we will spend a lot of time this summer with them whether it's going out for sushi or sipping a beer on the front porch. I am glad to have neighbors that don't seem really sketch (which could very easily be the case in East Nashville)! Our house is less than 10 minutes from downtown which is super fun! I can not wait to check out some of the treasures downtown including the library (http://www.library.nashville.org/) and Gigi's Cupcakes (http://www.gigiscupcakesusa.com/).
Last Wednesday I drove to Cleveland and met up with my cousin Katie (who lives in Knoxville). We drove down to Atlanta with my friend Kristin M. to see The National at The Tabernacle. It was a super fun show and I actually got to meet the band (which I don't think I've done since high school). They were super nice guys and we had a really good time. Seeing them live was something I've wanted to do for the past 2 years so it was nice to have a little dream come true. :-)
On Thursday I drove back to Nashville and spent my 2nd night in the new place...Lauren and I hung out on the porch with our housemates for a couple of hours which was nice. Lyle, Brandon and J.P. are really funny and down to earth guys. It is nice to hang out with people who are not super pretentious...
Friday morning Lauren drove me to the airport (which is 15 minutes from our house) and I caught my 4 hour and 10 minute flight to Ontario, California. I had a non-stop flight which was super nice! My friend Jeannie picked me up at the airport and we drove straight to In-N-Out which was AMAZING. I hadn't been there in almost 2 years so my burger, fries and vanilla shake tasted better than ever. I actually have been there twice already even though I have only been out here for 4 days. Oh well...I can watch calories when I get home! ;-)
There is a lot more that I have been up to in the last few days but that is all I am going to share for now...Stay tuned for more trip details.
-amanda diane
To summarize the last seven days, Tuesday of last week (exactly one week ago) I made the big leap of moving to Nashville. As many of you know this move has been a long time coming. I have probably been planning/saving money to do this for about 9 months now. The emotions I experienced driving down I-24 West last Tuesday can be described in three words: overwhelmed, excited and most of all a sensation that my world was about to become totally different. Brett (sister's boyfriend) helped me move all of my furniture with his truck which helped so much! I was so grateful not to have to spend tons of money on a Uhaul. I am living in the 2nd story of a house in East Nashville. I share the 2 bedroom loft apt. with my friend Lauren and there are 3 guys that live in the bottom floor below us. They are all in a hardcore band which I find kind of amusing. They are super sweet guys though and I think we will spend a lot of time this summer with them whether it's going out for sushi or sipping a beer on the front porch. I am glad to have neighbors that don't seem really sketch (which could very easily be the case in East Nashville)! Our house is less than 10 minutes from downtown which is super fun! I can not wait to check out some of the treasures downtown including the library (http://www.library.nashville.org/) and Gigi's Cupcakes (http://www.gigiscupcakesusa.com/).
Last Wednesday I drove to Cleveland and met up with my cousin Katie (who lives in Knoxville). We drove down to Atlanta with my friend Kristin M. to see The National at The Tabernacle. It was a super fun show and I actually got to meet the band (which I don't think I've done since high school). They were super nice guys and we had a really good time. Seeing them live was something I've wanted to do for the past 2 years so it was nice to have a little dream come true. :-)
On Thursday I drove back to Nashville and spent my 2nd night in the new place...Lauren and I hung out on the porch with our housemates for a couple of hours which was nice. Lyle, Brandon and J.P. are really funny and down to earth guys. It is nice to hang out with people who are not super pretentious...
Friday morning Lauren drove me to the airport (which is 15 minutes from our house) and I caught my 4 hour and 10 minute flight to Ontario, California. I had a non-stop flight which was super nice! My friend Jeannie picked me up at the airport and we drove straight to In-N-Out which was AMAZING. I hadn't been there in almost 2 years so my burger, fries and vanilla shake tasted better than ever. I actually have been there twice already even though I have only been out here for 4 days. Oh well...I can watch calories when I get home! ;-)
There is a lot more that I have been up to in the last few days but that is all I am going to share for now...Stay tuned for more trip details.
-amanda diane
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